ok so here's my latest report on myself. am feeling thoroughly guilty as usual; and not just because of school. do I always dig my own grave? *scrunches face and thinks

am I in the wrong? I really really don't want to break a third. what kind of person am I?
and next I ask myself- what kind of person will I become?

then (going a little far but still) I attempt to probe and maybe come up with material for college essay... and enquire : who do I want to be?

a rigid multilayered response follows but fails to answer adequately. along the lines of how I want to become a less grumpy sister, a more perceptive listener and reader, a more unique and polished thinker, less envious of the perfect people who are really nice deep down and have nothing against me and I'd rather be anything but a heartbreaker. no college hook. hmm. I want to create the funnest toy or at least contribute to a spark of an idea which may benefit mankind and nanotechnology...

I passed my senior project, so why do I feel like I'm failing school? how can the prospect of an undesirable grade keep me on my toes?

why do I ask more questions than my math packet?

I think I have good values, though I will admit to skewing my actions a little. Fine, I have good solid principles, I just need to follow them. (instead of writing nonsense into my little corner, nearly sub-nano portion of the universe-like expanse of electronic media neatly folded and compacted into the world wide web.)