'Tis awfully late. I'm not sleepy though.
I am brooding again as usual. And horrified at the pictures my friend posted of me on her blog *cringes, glad I didn't ask for a hard copy...

Recap of the past month? *laughs. If I had to survive on blogposts, my tummy would growl pretty often.

So school kicked in (yes I am still in high school- *hides head beneath textbook, at the sound of my aunt who asks which colleges have accepted me: *tells her to check back at the end of march).. back to school-

So school kicked in (deja vu?) with brain boiling calculus (C+ aren't I proud?), death of a salesman and thankfully physics. I like that class.

Winterball was fun. Pulled an estimated 3 heartstrings? Dinner was hilarious, heartstopping and crazy. Then in the gym, guilt yanked me off the dance floor for at least half an hour, illicited a mililiter of non-eyeshadow friendly liquid salted hormones of out of me and a contact in the process, and I had to pop it back in. Like a clown. It seemed funny? Someone found it entertaining? Anyone? Maybe that's just me. Danced until ten to eleven. (not midnight sadly). It was funny how my dad's car tailed the little blue honda civic home.

Ok I shall deliberately launch into a rant with no objective correlative. And I don't care. Is it right... I mean is it alright if I like someone more than he likes me? Will that disrupt or prevent a balance? What happens when we disrupt the "natural order"? Who determines the natural order of surburbia anyway. The unusual rules that dictate that glucose is more cringe worthy than a hangover, an unstrategic crease in the pants rear more socially barbaric than enumerating one's amorous encounters, backstabbing (as I just, most cruelly demonstrated), over silence, are morbidly captivating-and I try to hold my laughter from ringing in the face of plastered paradox.
It is an abstract rule that I am breaking, its only existent in my head and perhaps a few others'. Still, my cheek has not emboldened me in any manner whatsoever. How do I become a better daughter, sister, student, friend, artist, writer, researcher, and at the same time a fluffier herbivore?

Amazing how I seldom fail to turn something light into something so dark.

Labels: Who am I to tinker with the natural order