I need to reduce clutter.

I need not be less messy. Just less prone to accumulating piles and piles of junk. Especially mental gunk. It has seriously reduced my brain's efficiency. Sort of like the rust that prevents the teeth of two neighboring gears to fit together like they used to. I know I used to be able to do algebra. At some point in time, I was also able to take a test without melting my brain from the unnecessary anxiety.

And before I learned how to worry or shoot down ideas, I definitely knew how to fall asleep and dream big.

There is a way to climb out of my mess of anxieties and to stand up to my nightmares.

Faith.

Now if I made this leap of faith- I would rise above all my insecurities right? If only.

I just want to stop creating negative scenarios in my head. No more please.

I just want my brain to work again, with the gears intact and in motion and whirring excitedly. Like before. Then maybe I'd be able to make sense of how I fell in love with my best friend.